Support

My book cover is ordered and I’m down to a couple of weeks before Navy Moms: Navigating Boot Camp With Your Sailor is released.

I’m down to the wire now and, I’ll be honest, it’s a little nerve-wracking.

Then again, so was writing the book.

Authoring Navigating Boot Camp With Your Sailor is the biggest labor of love I’ve undertaken since, well, labor. Writing about boot camp dredges up all the sadness and anxiety I felt from the moment he took his oath, all the way through boot camp, right up to his graduation (or PIR, in Navy parlance).

I wrote this book to help other Navy moms deal with the roller coaster of emotions, stress, and exhilaration when a child ships off to boot camp.

I remember feeling overwhelmed with questions and not knowing where to turn or who to ask. Since Aaron’s father and I are divorced, I also felt very alone in my anxiety and had very few people to talk with about my experience.

To power through those interminable first eight weeks, I kept telling myself that things would get easier if I was just a little more patient. I told myself that by the time Aaron graduated, I’d be an old hand at this Navy mom business and stop being so worried all the time.

Now that boot camp is behind me, I can honestly say it does get easier.

I mean, we never stop worrying about our kids but they don’t have to be in the Navy for us to be concerned about their well-being.

But the cascade of anxiety so many Navy moms feel does eventually recede. I encourage you to not fight it. Instead sit with your feelings and learn how to manage the stress.

(My number one tip for coping with having a Sailor Recruit at boot camp is to surround yourself with a support system, particularly other Navy moms, even if it means spending extra time in Navy-related Facebook groups.)

It’s important to learn how to manage your feelings because they’ll probably crop up again when your Sailor leaves for post-PIR school and eventually deployment.

The good news is, the coping mechanisms you learn during boot camp will serve you well throughout your child’s Navy career.

Then you can focus on continuing to be supportive and standing strong for your Sailor.

That’s where you’ll find the joy of being a Navy mom.

 

Like every other mom with a child in the Navy, I had to catch my breath when the Syrian air strikes were announced last night.

Oh, who am I kidding? I bawled my eyes out for 10 minutes.

When Aaron first enlisted, I got around my fear of him facing combat by telling myself not to borrow trouble. I can’t predict the future so there’s no sense in worrying about things that haven’t happened yet  – especially things that are out of my control.

That approach has served me well so far, but it fizzled last night as worry came crashing down around me.

Two things helped me get through it.

First, I reminded myself that our Sailors and Marines are highly skilled professionals who are well prepared physically and mentally for these scenarios. This is what they are trained to do. We must trust them and let them work.

Second, I spent a little time last night chatting online with other Navy moms, some with service members in the same unit as Aaron. It felt good to know I wasn’t alone in my fear and that I wasn’t overreacting.

The strikes were probably over by the time the news hit the U.S. airwaves, but my anxiety lasted far longer. I had a lot of trouble sleeping and nightmares when I did nod off.

I’m tired today but relieved that the situation seems to be stable at the moment.

This was the first time I’ve had to deal with military action since Aaron enlisted, but I suspect it won’t be the last. I just have to remind myself that this is his job and he takes it very, very seriously.

It’s my job to support Aaron, something I take very, very seriously. But, geez, being a Navy mom is really hard sometimes.

If you’re a seasoned Navy mom, you know this torrent of feelings well.

If you’re new at all this, remember you are not alone. Other Navy moms are your sisters-in-arms. Lean on each other and we’ll get through it together.