When You’re Missing Your Sailor

heart missing puzzle piece

Whether they’ve just left for basic training or have been deployed for three months overseas, we never stop missing our Sailors. It goes with the territory of being a Navy mom.

Mothers with Sailor Recruits at Great Lakes sometimes have a tougher time than moms with a Sailor at “A” School simply because of the almost complete communication blackout, especially those first couple of weeks. Once our kids leave boot camp, we know we’ll at least be able to talk, text, Skype, or Face Time with some regularity but that still doesn’t make our time apart any easier

As we come up on the holiday season, I see a lot of Navy moms in my Facebook groups talk about how they’re missing their Sailors more than ever. For some, this will be their first holiday apart, while others haven’t spent one together since their daughter or son enlisted. No matter how you slice it, being apart from our children is really difficult.

What can you do when missing your Sailor seems like it’s just too much too bear? Here are a few ideas:

Write letters

Even though it may seem like you’re talking to yourself, letters can go a long way toward making you feel closer to your Sailor. I don’t recommend that you spend a lot of time telling them how sad you are or that you can’t stop crying because they’re not home. That’s a lot of burden to put on our Sailor and they’re powerless to change the circumstances. Instead, share some fun stories about when they were young or just chat about what’s happening around town. Chances are, you’ll feel a lot better by the time you sign off and your son or daughter will love getting mail from you.

Build a care package

Sometimes a little retail therapy can help get your mind off things, especially when you know how delighted your Sailor will be to get a box of goodies. There’s no need to break the bank putting together a care package, though. Make a cake in a jar, a batch of brownies, or assemble a small scrapbook with random pictures you have lying around the house.

I once sent Aaron a box filled with frosted sugar cookies. Before wrapping them, I used food decorator markers to write a single letter on each cookie. When Aaron unwrapped and rearranged the cookies, they spelled out a special message for him.

Decorate your house

Lots of Navy moms light a special blue candle and recite a poem or prayer.  Others tie a ribbon a tree outside their home, put flags around the house, or set out extra pictures of their Sailor (go ahead and talk to the picture if it helps!).

Volunteer

One way to stave off the sadness of missing your Sailor is to channel that energy into supporting other Sailors. Join a letter writing campaign, help assemble group care packages, or adopt a Sailor. I plan to volunteer with my local USO chapter but I’m not sure I’m at the point yet where I won’t dissolve into tears the minute a Sailor walks into one of the events. 🙂

Turn to your Sea Sisters

Don’t hesitate to reach out to other Navy moms for support when you need it. We’ve all been there and we’re all at various stages of the journey ourselves. Sometimes it just helps to know you aren’t alone and that your feelings are understandable and normal.

What’s your go to strategy when you’re missing your Sailor?

Sneak Preview of The New Navy Mom’s Basic Training Survival Guide

woman looking through binoculars

If you’re excited about the upcoming release of The New Navy Mom’s Basic Training Survival Guide then take a look at this sneak peek I have for you. It’s a page right from the book explaining why I decided to write it and includes a hint about another book in the series.

If you like what you see, join my Navy Moms mailing list to get an exclusive excerpt delivered right to your inbox.

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I wrote this book about becoming a new Navy mom for two reasons. When my son Aaron left for basic training, I had a million questions and no one to ask. The internet is a wonderful resource but, let’s face it, it’s also a fairly bottomless source of information. Unfortunately, some of what’s out there about boot camp at Great Lakes Naval Training Center is incomplete, outdated, or simply incorrect.

I wanted a book or single resource that would walk me through the experience of being a new Navy mom so I didn’t have to spend hours digging around websites, message boards, and forums to find the answers I wanted. That, my friends, is how the idea for this book was born.

The other reason I wrote this book is a bit more personal. Aaron’s father and I divorced when he was very young. Aaron was living with his father just prior to enlisting in the Navy, so naturally he was the point of contact when Aaron shipped out. Unfortunately, that meant I wasn’t able to experience the joy of getting the Kid in a Box, form letter, or “I’ve arrived at Great Lakes” phone call. (Not sure what those things are? Don’t worry, it’s all covered in the book.)

Until Aaron’s division got letter writing privileges and he was able to communicate with me himself, I was peretty much in the dark about how things were going for him at boot camp. Wow, was that hard. Divorced mothers face challenges when their daughter or son joins the Navy that partnered parents may not encounter. While this book touches on these issues, an upcoming book in this series takes a closer look at what they are and how to deal with them.

When our sons and daughters decide to join the Navy, we’re on a roller coster ride of emotions that make their first day of kindergarten look like a walk in the park. The good news is that you’ll get through it. You’ll also learn more about yourself and your Sailor than you ever expected. You’ve got this, momma!

 

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